Concision, or Nothing

One of the most frequent requests that I get from participants in my technical writing courses is that they want their writing to be concise. They seem to be confident that concision is an absolute: it's always better to be shorter.

To a certain extent, I agree. There are many phrases that roll off of our tongues that have no meaning and contribute no value to the reader. My earlier column on meta-talk was about unnecessary words, for instance. For most of these glorious phrases, there is a shorter (more concise) phrase that says the same thing though it sounds much plainer:
"At this point in time" ---> "now"
"In the matter of x" ---> "About x"
Some of these glorious phrases can be eliminated altogether: Nothing needs to be said at all.

Perhaps the best candidate is "Note that" as in "Note that you must turn on the water." I've edited several articles where, it seemed, every second paragraph began with "Note that". At best, "Note that" is the wordier version of the exclamation mark: Use it too often and it loses its meaning (I tell authors that they get--at most--one exclamation mark per article: use it wisely).

But I don't think that approach goes far enough: Unlike the exclamation mark, "Note that" is never appropriate and usually offensive. "Note that" points out the egoism of the author. It suggests that (a) the reader is incapable of noticing the importance of what the author is about to say and will not put the appropriate value on it, and (b) that if the author says that the following information is important then that's all the direction that the reader needs to establish the value of the information. Rather than try to impose his or her (or its) will on the reader, the author is far better off to omit "Note that", tell the reader why this particular fact is important, and let readers draw their own judgments.

Of course, that strategy will require more words than just "Note that." This is where the argument for concision falls down. The goal is not to use the fewest words possible; the goal is to cover all of what the audience needs....and then stop writing. Not just write in fewer words--stop writing altogether. It's "concision of content" that matters first; "concision of individual words", while certainly worthwhile, is (relatively) unimportant.

Reading or read

• The Case of Lena S. by David Bergen
• Small Beneath the Sky: A Prairie Memoir by Lorna Crozier
• Pandora in the Congo by Albert Sanchez Pinol and Mara Faye Lethem